How to tell your mom you are gay

She's your mo--the woman who gave you life and will love you through anything. However, few things can test a parent's unconditional love like news of their child's homosexuality. While it may be hard on you, it may be even harder on your mother to wrap her mind around a life choice you may have yourself struggled to handle. However, it may be a difficult moment with your mom, but not necessarily an impossible one.

Instructions

1. Choose the time and place. The talk may be hard enough as it is without the setting and timing making it worse. Avoid talking in a crowded place where there is already too much noise, confusion and anxiety. Choose a calming location and a place where you and your mother have privacy if emotions start to show. Choose a time when you know you have her undivided attention and neither of you are coming out of earlier stressful situations. You can't control your mom but you can control the situation's setting.

2. Let her know this conversation is important to you. Set the situation's importance so that you have your mother's complete attention. It will also prepare her for a serious talk rather than making her feel sideswiped and sucker-punched. If she knows its an important talk coming, your mom can shift into the appropriate mode of understanding and attentiveness.

3. Tell her you're gay. Quick and to the point. Avoid dancing around the topic or making allusions. Beating around the bush can only drag the already-stressful situation out and can rely too heavily on your mom's interpretations. Go straight for the point and start the conversation. Treat your mom and yourself like adults who can have an adult talk.

4. Be prepared for the worst. Although she gave you life and may have been there for all your growing up, be prepared for your mother's worst possible reaction. Be ready for denial, rejection, disgust and a parade of other painful reactions from one who has loved you above all else. Keep in mind that any initial moments you may have had of shock at your orientation may go tenfold for your mother. Be prepared to take the worst of her. Be ready to leave the situation if you must without letting things escalate or degrade the relationship long-term.

5. Give her space and time. After you've talked with your mother, give her room to digest. It may be a big item to accept and she may need room and time to wrap herself around things. Remember, she may have never considered the possibility and may be dealing with her dreams for you altering and changing. Avoid pursuing her with phone calls, emails and visits for a little while if you feel the "air" between you two is tense.

6. Be available and ready to talk. Once your mother comes around and wants to talk, be ready to meet her. It may be a half-way meet or a three-fourths of the way meeting, but be available. It may take longer than you would like for her to be ready to continue the dialogue so fight the urge to "punish" her with distance. Once again, choose a good place to meet and talk.

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient and be accepting of her like you want her to be with you.

• Be prepared for a bad reaction.