How to turn down a boy when he asks you out

Maybe it's at school. Maybe it's in the market. Maybe it's at work. No matter the scenarios, they share the same issue. He's asked you on a date and you don't want to go out with him. While this is normally considered an uncomfortable situation for him, it's also tricky for you. You're a good person and breaking his heart is the last thing you want to do. While there will be some disappointment, there are gentle ways to letting him down.

Instructions

1. Take a breath. Don't react with the first expression on your face or the first words that come to mind. If it's a face-to-face, take a breath but not too long a pause. That's going to kill him even more. If it's a note or an email, you've got some time before you reply. Relax so you can think about your next words and next move.

2. Be short and to the point. Dancing around the rejection will just drag out the dread. It's uncomfortable as it is and going through cliches like "It's not you, it's me" or "Hey, you're a really nice guy, like a brother." Go for it and end it quickly. Say "I'm flattered but I can't," or "That is a very nice offer but I can't accept." If he presses, keep all your answers short, not terse but just short and then exit.

3. Don't be mean. In your rejection, if you find him unattractive, don't say it. If you find something about him a huge turn-off, keep it to yourself. Remember this guy finds you beautiful, pretty, approachable and he's probably been practicing this speech for a week. Appreciate the gesture for what it is--honest appreciation. There's no need to be mean.

4. Give him space. If you work with him or he's a friend or if you see him frequently, give him space. Things will be awkward between the two of you for a while so expect it. Time heals wounds so, after a while, things will get back to normal.

5. Be careful. Even though most guys receive rejection and move on, there are some that struggle with it. They may take the frustration out on themselves or even try to take it out on you. If you have to issue an in-person rejection, issue it in a public place. If there's any reason to suspect a dangerous reaction, consider consulting the authorities.