How to Give Your Teen the First Driving Lesson

The first time your teen straps into the driver's seat of a car with you in the passenger seat without access to brakes or steering wheel is perhaps the most stressful parenting moment of all. Armed with a good enough score to obtain a driver's permit, most 15 and 16 year olds (the age, of course, depends on where you live) hold the opinion that they are ready to drive NOW. Here is how to make sure that you are both ready to tackle an empty parking lot.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Establish ground rules with your teen before handing him the keys or allowing him to sit in the driver's seat. First, you are the absolute boss until after your teen has a driver's license. When you say "stop" it is not an option and it is not up for debate. In the event that your teen disagrees with your instructions, obedience should come before the question. Second, driving is a privilege and a responsibility, not an entitlement. The car is more powerful and more dangerous than anything else that your teen has been given access to and replacing a wrecked car may represent a serious financial challenge to the family even if all you pay is the deductible.
2. Drill your teen on what she should observe and do before starting the engine. This involves eye-balling the tires to make sure they are all inflated. After entering the car, she should adjust the seat so that her feet can push the accelerator and the brake pedal all the way to the floor without changing her position. She should strap herself in with the seat belt. Next she should adjust the mirrors. The rear view mirror should be placed so that she can see directly behind the car. The mirror on the driver's side should allow her to see the lane on the left and a small portion of the car itself. If there is a mirror on the passenger's side, it should allow your teen to see the lane on the right without needing to move anything other than her head.
3. Help your teen to gain familiarity with the various controls on the dash board. He should be able to turn on and off the headlights and operate the bright light lever. He should be able to turn on the windshield wipers and know how and when to use the hazard lights. He should also know how and when to put the car in Park, Reverse, Neutral and Drive. Does he know to depress the brake pedal when he is shifting? Does he know how to set and release the emergency brake? Tell him to practice moving his right foot from the brake pedal to the accelerator and back again until he has a good feeling for where each pedal is.
4. Tell your teen to start the car which should be at one end of an empty parking lot which has several rows of parking spaces painted on the pavement. Some of my children needed to practice steering in an empty parking lot before they were allowed to step on the accelerator. This gives a good appreciation for the power of the vehicle. With the engine running, tell your teen to steer the car across the parking lot for several aisles and then turn to the right or the left or the right. If she can execute several turns and also maneuver the car into the parking spaces you indicate, then you can allow her to experiment with adding gas. Next she should learn how to reverse.
5. End the lesson after twenty or thirty minutes by asking your teen to park the car, turn off the engine and set the emergency brake.
6. Follow up with a conversation with your teen. Ask him what he discovered about driving that surprised him? Ask what he feels that he did very well? What did he feel that he will need to improve? Then praise him for what he did well and also comment about what you will be watching for him to improve.