How to tell your kids you're getting a divorce
Divorce is never easy and telling your children that it is about to happen is one of the hardest things a parent can do. But, it is much better to tell them once the decision has been made than to wait and have them find out from someone else. If at all possible, it is always best to have both parents there to tell the children about the changes in their family.
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Instructions
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Approach this conversation in a calm, cool manner. While you may feel hostile towards your soon-to-be ex, don’t let that anger show though to your children. Even if your spouse is not part of the conversation with your kids at this point, the kids don’t need to feel your anger.
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Assure your children that the divorce is not their fault. Children almost always feel that they caused mommy and daddy to split up. Let them know that they are loved by both parents and always will be.
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Do not try to turn your children against your soon to be ex. This is not fair to the child. If you must be angry with your spouse, then be angry, but don’t expect your children to be angry with them for the same reasons. Chances are your children are going to be angry at both of you.
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Try to answer any questions your child may ask honestly. This doesn’t mean you have to give them all the details of why you are splitting up, just that now is not the time to lie to your child.
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Expect your children to go through a grieving process. They may have signs of anger, depression or denial of what is happening to their normal world. Be there for your kids, no matter how much it hurts.
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Tips & Warnings
Try not to badmouth the other parent during or after this process. This helps no one and can cause serious conflict of emotions in a child.
<br>If there is going to be a huge custody battle, do not make your children choose sides. Again, this is unfair to the child.
<br>Attempt to allow your children to continue doing the activities they are involved with. This will help promote stability during this emotional time.
<br>Expect that your children will secretly hope that one day you and your spouse will get back together again. Introduce new boyfriends or girlfriends slowly to your children and expect negative reactions.
