How to Support and Nurture Your Daughter Through her Divorce

Your daughter’s divorce is one of the most traumatic, devastating, and emotionally painful experiences in her life. She feels as if her life has ended. The deep pain that she feels in her heart, soul, and every cell of her body is overwhelming. Your daughter may feel abandoned, rejected, and betrayed by her husband. Her eating and sleeping may also be affected. Her feelings can vary back and forth from anger to sadness to depression. Your love and nurture will help your daughter to get through this difficult period. Some things that you can do to nurture her include:

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Love
• Empathy
• Commitment
• Patience
• Time
• Listening skills

1. Listen to her intently with great compassion and understanding for as long as she needs to talk. Don’t interrupt and don’t give advice. Acknowledge her feelings. Do say, “I feel really bad for you that you are hurting so much.” If you are with her, then hug and hold her.
2. Remain committed and supportive while she is working through her grieving process. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described the five stages that a person dealing with the grief of a terminal illness goes through. She also stated that when two people are divorcing, each will go through those same stages of grief. The stages are:
   o Denial
   o Anger
   o Bargaining
   o Depression
   o Acceptance
   She may bounce from one stage to another and then back again.
3. Encourage her to join a Divorce Recovery Support Group where she can find support and healing.
4. Encourage her to see a psychologist or counselor to heal from the past and be able to go forward as a single person with increased self-confidence and self-esteem.
5. Help her relocate if she has to move to another house or apartment. Assist her in painting, cleaning and needed repairs. If possible, stay with her at least 2-3 weeks in her new home to help her transition into Single life.
6. If she has small children, help her with babysitting when you can. If she lives in a different city try to visit sometimes for several days or a week to provide help and support.
7. Encourage her to nurture her body, mind and spirit. For her body it is important that she eat a healthy, nutritious diet, exercise, and get adequate sleep. For the mind, reading books that will help her heal and cognitive therapy to challenge negative thoughts are helpful. For her spirit, praying, meditating, listening to music, and connecting with others can be uplifting.
8. Urge her to reconnect with friends and share enjoyable activities together.
9. Encourage her to focus on positive things also. Have her reflect on the things in her life that are good and for which she can be thankful such as her good health, her children, and her support system.

Tips & Warnings

• After divorce she may feel lonely, but psychologists suggest that it is not good to get into a new relationship until healed from the previous one. Healing may take 2 years or more.