How to Elect A Poor President

We are smack dab in the middle of an election year. Our next president could be a woman, African American or "super" senior citizen. It's a toss up as to who will be the best. So how will you decide who to vote for? Here's what not to do.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Ignorance
• Distraction
• A world view based on stereotypes

1. Be ignorant.
   
   Don't waste your time researching the backgrounds or voting histories of any of the candidates. Avoid watching the debates. Stay away from the news. Refuse to ask anyone for information on your candidate. Keep telling yourself that you don't need to hear anyone else's opinion. After all, you know what's right.
2. Stay distracted.
   
   Instead of watching for the views candidates have on important issues like education, money and health care, get caught up on less important events. Worry yourself with the rantings and ravings of Reverend Wright. Roam the internet for information on the latest celebrity wedding. Spend time debating on who will be voted off next from American Idol. Tell yourself that you don't need to know these details because no politician ever really does what he says. So why waste your time? You have more important things to do.
3. Base your voting opinions solely on stereotypical views.
   
   Forget about getting to know the candidates. Base your decision on each candidates on stereotypes. All blacks secretly hate white people and want to enslave them. All women are emotional and will start a war if they have a rough menstrual cycle. All elderly people are slow and senile. Use this information to select a candidate. Tell yourself it's the only way to go, even if it's wrong.
4. Vote in a candidate.
   
   After the person of your choice gets into office and starts blowing it, don't take any responsibility. Remember, you have no say as to who really gets into the White House. You only vote. It's just a minor part of the election process.

Tips & Warnings

• Use this process every time and you'll always vote in the wrong candidate for any political office.