How to Choose the Text for Your Ketubah
In order to be married according to Jewish tradition, you actually don't even need a Rabbi to perform a ceremony, although it is customary. What you do need is a Jewish marriage contract, or Ketubah. There are a range of options these days regarding the text of this contract, so it is important to understand the differences among these. Read on to learn how to choose the text for your Ketubah.
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Instructions
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Decide if you are going to buy a pre-made Ketubah, or if you might consider commissioning one. Commissioned Ketubot cost significantly money than pre-made ones, but they offer unlimited options in terms of the decoration and text. If you do not wish to commission a Ketubah, you will have to decide what text you want first, so you can make sure the one you buy comes with the text you want.
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Consult with a clergy person or another religious leader. Almost all Orthodox rabbis, as well as many conservative ones, will want you to use the traditional text of the Ketubah (which is written in Aramaic) if they are performing your ceremony. You may be allowed, or even encouraged, to add onto it, however. Conservative and Reform clergy will also likely be open to Egalitarian texts, which are texts written in both Hebrew and English.
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If you are having a Reform or even secular wedding, you may have significantly more leeway regarding the text of your Ketubah. Do some research to learn about non-traditional renderings of the text that might suit your needs, or consider creating your own.
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If you are going to use the traditional text, you may be allowed, or even asked, to add onto the text. One clause that many Jews add is the Lieberman clause, which basically protects a woman should her husband refuse to give her a Jewish divorce. You may also be allowed or even encouraged to write an addendum that reflects your marriage vows in a contemporary manner. Again, check with your clergy person to understand your choices here.
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Pick a Ketubah artist who can help you realize your vision, or find a pre-made Ketubah that fits your needs. Remember that as a religious document, your Ketubah should be aesthetically pleasing as well as functional.
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Tips & Warnings
Anita Diamant's "The New Jewish Wedding" is a must read for Jews planning their wedding. Among other things, Diamant provides an invaluable section on Ketubot, complete with a translation of a variety of texts.
While many Jews choose to use alternative texts for their Ketubot, understand that some sects of Judaism will not recognize a non-traditional Ketubah as legally binding. Among other things, this may become a problem if you or your children need proof of your Jewish marriage while in Israel, as the Israeli Rabbinate is Orthodox.
