How to tame a free spirit

Before attempting this, realize there is no true way to tame a free spirit. But you can learn how to reign them in and keep their feet in one place for at least a short period of time. Also, remember that "free spirit" and "undisciplined" are often interchangable, although they are not the same thing. Undisciplined people can be disciplined; free spirits can be taught, but it doesn't necessarily mean they'll do what you say or change their ways. Read on to learn how to tame a free spirit.

Difficulty:

Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• Patience
• Time

1. Set up a time to talk to the free spirit. Feel them out by asking pointed questions--what are they're likes and dislikes, why do they feel they must constantly be flitting about as opposed to settling down, what is their aversion to conformity, what is their family history, what is their star sign and more. In order to address the situation, you need to have all the information available on this person.

2. Watch them in action. Take them to several settings (bar, restaurant, sporting event, musical show, political rally, playground or on a hike) and see how they interact with the world around them. It is very telling to see how people process the world they are in. A free spirit is accepting of everything. An undisciplined person, spoiled person or a sheltered person is not. Before attempting to "break" someone of something, you need to really get to know the person.

3. Set up boundaries for yourself and for them with regards to your relationship. If they find themselves unable to return phone calls when they say they will, explain (and not in a patronizing way) why this isn't acceptable. Show them who you are and what your needs are, and they will return the favor. Sometimes what people call a "free spirit" is simply someone who hasn't learned etiquette or social skills, or is just an incredibly selfish person who hasn't learned to be otherwise. That is someone you can tame. If the person is truly a free spirit, you can at the very least make them aware and hope. But awareness is the first step in making a change.

4. Know yo can force a free spirit to do what you want by giving ultimatums, although this usually backfires, because ultimatums are contrary to free spirit mentality, and rather than submit, they will retreat. A good alternative is to give them something they can't back out on, such as a child to babysit. People rise to challenges, and a great way to "tame" someone is to hand them a baby. The person will automatically calm down, becoming protective and still.

5. Do not try to beat a free spirit into submission. You may succeed at breaking them, but then you will essentially destroy them. A free spirit needs encouragement, not negativity. They are already going against the grain by virtue of being "different from the norm," and so already have a harder road to travel in that respect. Support them instead of fighting them, and you will see that they are easier to "manage" and more willing to do things you'd like them to do, like organize their files or clean their kitchen.

6. Keep in mind that what is important to you is not necessarily important to a free spirit. Rather than attacking them for being different, show them why you do the things you do in the way that you do them. Try to convince a free spirit that life "in the norm" is not necessarily a bad thing all the time, and that there are ways to fit schedule into a free spirit lifestyle.

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient. Free spirits can try your patience to the max, depending on your own personality, but they are also amazing people who may teach you a thing or two about yourself.