How to talk to your child about loss and grief

There comes a time in every family when you will have to deal with the loss of a loved one. While this is hard on everybody, it can be particularly confusing for children, who may not understand their own feelings of loss and grief. Learning how to talk to them and help them through the process is important to make sure that they heal properly and can move on with their lives. Read on to learn how to talk to your child about loss and grief.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Choose the right time and place. Sit down to talk to your child when nobody else is around, as many children may feel intimidated or shy if there are other adults present. Give the conversation the importance it deserves; don’t talk to the child at dinner time or when you are doing something else, such as watching TV or cleaning.

2. Let your child know that it is OK to grieve. People react differently when confronted with a loss, so it is important that your child does not feel ashamed if he feels he needs to talk, prefer solitude or needs the comfort of friends.

3. Suggest counseling if you see your child is struggling to get over the loss. Some children internalize everything and while they may seem fine on the surface, you will begin to see troubling signs somewhere else: problems at school, fights with siblings or depression.

4. Tell the child it is OK to ask questions. This is especially important when dealing with small children, who may not understand what they are feeling or why an event occurred. Let them know that you are there for them if they want to talk at any time.

5. Find a way to honor the memory of the lost one. Whether it is a family member or a pet, children may feel more at ease if they can find a way to express their grief. You can help the child by creating a posterboard collage using photos and mementos or setting up a memory table using framed photographs.

Tips & Warnings

• If your child is having a hard time talking about his feelings, encourage him to use a journal. Many people find it easier to write rather than to talk about their grief. While you will not be a part of the process, it may help your child open up and eventually agree to talk about it.

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[Coach4U]

on 1/26/2009 Good information for everyone.