How to talk to popular kids

The task of talking to popular kids is a daunting one for many kids at one time or another. Before you approach the popular kids, ask yourself, "Why do I want to talk to them?" Is it because they're popular and you want to associate with them so you seem "cooler?" If that's the case, then prepare for defeat, because nobody wants a friend who is only using them to feel special. Think about it, would YOU want someone as a friend who approached you for those reasons? Just think about why you want the popular kids to notice you and why you don't feel cool just as you are, right now. If you want to talk to the popular kids because they have a lot of the same interests as you, then approaching them should come naturally out of activities you both share. Remember, your true friends are the people around you right this moment. A popular kid would be lucky to be a part of your current regular group. If you're ready to try to make new friends, follow these tips.

Instructions

How to Talk to Popular Kids

1. Humor is the best way to break down any barrier. If you have a natural wit, look for opportunities to share your quick wit with the popular people. Be subtle. When approaching any new person, you don't want to bang them over the head. Small jokes or an original witty comment can build up your reputation as the funny one.

2. Be good at something that is unique to you. Any kid, especially a popular one, will be drawn to somebody who is doing something no one else can do. Maybe you have a keen photographic eye or an artistic flair. Maybe you're a computer whiz or a killer soccer player. Keep doing what comes naturally to you and don't be afraid to show it to other people. This will gain you respect and have what you want to happen to you--the popular kids will come looking to talk to you.

3. Join the same clubs and activities that the popular kids are a part of. However, be aware that if you aren't interested in the same stuff, your lack of enthusiasm will show and this attempt will backfire. Best to find activities that are popular with the "in crowd," but that you also enjoy. That way, conversation will come naturally between you and the popular group as you participate in your common activities. Another idea is to pay attention to where popular kids spend their off-time (a certain park, horseback riding lessons, part-time job) and show up there if it's something you're interested in or it's on your natural path. It'll be easier to start up a conversation outside of school.

4. You have to be patient and have incredible respect for yourself. If you love who you are (or at least like who you are), and you believe in yourself, then your confidence can carry you a long way. People are attracted to strong people. You can't go looking for friendship, instead you have to carry yourself with gentle assurance like you expect good things and good people to happen to you.

5. Be courteous. Look for opportunities in class to sit near the person you want to talk to. If they're struggling with classwork, hint to them how to get the correct answer. If someone's crying, offer a hanky. If someone drops a book, pick it up. If someone complains about the same homework you had trouble with, talk about how you feel the same way. If they love music/comedy/sports/weird stories, share with them a website you like that's all about the interest you share. Use the enclosed space of a classroom as you're entering or exiting with the popular person to mention you saw their performance/game/whatever the other day and thought what they did made the whole thing worth seeing. Make sure what you're saying is true.

6. If they live nearby or you know where they live, casually start taking walks with a friend by their house after school when you know they're home. Singling out a popular person without their other friends around makes them just a regular person and possibly bored at home. Bring a snack to eat, a ball to throw or jump ropes to play on the sidewalk or street near the front of their house. Having another friend with you will make you brave and a good friend will also add humor to the situation. Bring a dog along if you want a conversation starter.

Tips & Warnings

• If you have nothing in common with the popular kids, trying to talk to them will be possible, but winning them as friends is going to be difficult. If you have nothing in common, your friendship wouldn't matter much to either of you.

• If you try everything and can't get the attention of the popular kids, don't feel bad. Realize that the people that are the most popular during their school years often become regular people in real life as they get older. Their school years will be their glory years, while your glorious years are still coming up.

• If you want to be popular yourself, you'll have to have a personality (or a skill, or great looks or hairstyle) that other kids admire. Having the guts to be yourself can cause stardom in school, or can get you pegged as a "weirdo." Again, consider your reasons for needing to be among that small, adored, popular set.