Things You'll Need:
- Humility
- Earnest sense of reasoning
- A problem solver's mentality
-
Step 1
huh?!Do not act surprised. If you thought you married a decent person, this will tick them off if you act as if you didn't know this was coming. Marriages, much like a house, never suddenly collapses. If your spouse is asking for a divorce, it's probably because of problems that you are aware of as well. Again, Do not act surprised.
-
Step 2
Pay close attention. One of the top complaints of divorcing couples is a lack of communication. It's a little late to be paying attention now if you haven't been, but doing this will prep you for responses to the spouse's complaints by showing you the effect it has on the them(ie: whatever he/she is complaining about is enough for them to want a divorce.)
-
Step 3
Probe a little deeper. Key questioning can help you to unlock the root of the problem. For example, if your spouse is complaining that they hardly see you, maybe the problem is your job. Ask questions like "Do you still love me?", "Around when did you we start having problems?", "Is there anyway we can solve this on our own without breaking up the family?". Ask calmly and do not interrupt.
-
Step 4
What's it worth to you? Explain to your spouse what family means to you. Explain how you felt when you got married and when you read those vows. Some spouses that ask divorces may believe you want one as well, but may believe that they have to be the one to do something about it because you won't; in other words, if your not willing to save a suffering horse, why not shoot it?
-
Step 5
Speak the truth. Your spouse is married to you, so technically nobody knows you better. Speak truthfully, avoid escapism, pandering and blame shifting as much as possible. Acknowledge the problem and plead for time to resolve it with your spouse.
