How to Make Your Own Evil Plan to Take Over the World

Do you want to be an evil mastermind?

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By Melanie Marten
eHow Community Member

Article Rating:

(18 Ratings)

Every evil overlord starts out as a small child, dreaming of someday being able to take over the world. This is a big dream, and one that will not be realized without a lot of careful planning. While some evil overlords just wing it, letting their psychosis take the reins, others would be better served with a comprehensive "How to Take Over the World" plan.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

A sense of evil
Desire to take over the world
Technological knowledge
Minions
Lots of money

Step 1

Plan your true objective. Taking over the world can leave you with a lot of unwanted responsibilities. Instead of focusing on the power, decide what you really want control of. Perhaps domineering the world banking industry would satisfy you, or maybe you would like to control media. Do your goals tend toward controlling people, or the very nature of Earth itself?
Step 2

Choose your home base with a mind toward both aesthetics and usability. An ancient castle in Transylvania might be rich in atmosphere, but is the cell phone reception sufficient? Some popular places for implementing evil plans include underground bunkers, corporate high rises, orbiting space craft, and the White House.
Step 3

Recruit minions to carry out your evil plan. One scrawny guy in spandex may be alright for the super heroes, but you deserve an entire army of evil folk. Robots, reanimated corpses, bullied teens with acne, and televangelists make good evil helpers.
Step 4

Implement your specific plan. Seizing control of national monuments, buxom women, and bank accounts are all good ideas. At least, it works in the movies. Threats of violence or ecological disaster might also work. Be prepared to have authorities call your bluff.
Step 5

Sit back and enjoy the misery. You have now taken over the world.

Comments

WebScribe said

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on 1/12/2009 Bravo! A tour de force, and so helpful! I had been wondering about good minion sources, but now I see - I just need to hack into the address files of OXY for a limitless supply - good thinking! 5* and a recommendation, for adding some levity to our reading - Thanks! (Please check out my latest, "How to Become a Proud Member of BJAA, the BAD JEANS of America Association", when you have a moment.)