How to Have a Christian Marriage

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By Lamonique
eHow Community Member

Article Rating:

(10 Ratings)

If you want to have a Christian marriage, that means you and your husband want to put God first in your marriage. This article assumes you are both Christians and thereby not unequally yoked.

You must understand that God designed marriage and He alone is the authority on it, not Dr. Phill, your favorite magazine, or your friends. Consulting good christian wisdom is o.k., but remember to keep advice in the context of the bible.

In marriage sometimes emotions rise up in us and we want our hurt feelings justified through revenge or an eye for an eye. But as we know in God's word this is not the way to love others. God's way of love also applies to our marriage relationships.

John 14:15 says "If you love me, keep my commandments." Love is an action not just a feeling. Keeping God's commandments is an action of love.

Romans 5:8 says: But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus dying for us was an act of love. If we were sinners we were certainly not following God's commandments. Remember God already told us in Romans 5:8 that if we loved Him follow His commandments. We can summize then that while we were not loving God, God still loved and demonstrated acts of love towards us. This is exactly how we are to behave in order to have a Christian marriage, which is a lasting marriage.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Bible
Open heart

Step 1

PUT GOD FIRST IN YOUR MARRIAGE- Decide that you will believe God's word as the authority on the subject of marriage. Many bible have a concordance or index in the back. Look up the word marriage and get scriptures on the subject.
Step 2

LOOK AT SELF- I believe this to be the foundation for a long lasting, Christian marriage. Just when you realize that the other person is wrong that's exactly when it's time to look at self. I know this is unpopular thinking but this is tried and true. This very step is why this article is rated at moderately challenging, because it is our first nature to defend self and blame others. Go against your nature, even if the other person was wrong, seek how you could react differently. Remember we can never change others; the only one we can change is ourselves.
Step 3

ASK FOR FORGIVENESS- In marriage, you are going to have disagreements. You are going to do wrong things or say hurtful things in defense of yourself. Never forget your spouse is apart of the others (Love others) Jesus is talking about in the bible. If you both you and your spouse are living your lives for God, you can both be vulnerable enough to ask for forgiveness. This will draw you closer. ASK FOR FORGIVENESS EVEN WHEN YOUR SPOUSE WAS ALSO WRONG IN THE SITUATION.
Step 4

ALWAYS BE WILLING TO FORGIVE- Decide upfront that you and your spouse are going to make mistakes and you are going to forgive one another just as God has forgiven you. Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." So FORGIVE, EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
Step 5

GLEAN FROM GODLEY ROLE MODELS- Find Christians who have been happily married for a length of time. Many times this may be your pastor and wife, or find a marriage ministry willing to share their testimonies with you.