How to Write a Sympathy Thank You Note

It may seem like just one more thing you have to do during a difficult time, but acknowledging the kindness, love and support of friends and relatives after a death can actually help you through your grieving process. While many people don't expect it, a sympathy thank you note lets them know you're aware of their condolences and helps you remain connected to the people around you.

Instructions

1. Write at your own pace. While it's generally suggested that you write all sympathy thank you notes within two weeks of a funeral or memorial service, that rule isn't set in stone. Use the two weeks as a guideline, but write them as you feel able so that you don't put an extra burden on yourself during an already stressful time.

2. Acknowledge special expressions of kindness. Write sympathy thank you notes to mourners who sent flowers, made memorial contributions, brought food to your house, ran errands or gave any other sign of support. Generally, you don't have to send a thank you note to people attending the viewing, funeral or service unless they traveled a long distance to be there and you want to show your appreciation.

3. Simplify your thank you notes. Not every sympathy thank you note you write has to be personal, so do what's comfortable for you. Depending on your relationship to the recipient, you can buy notes with a pre-printed sentiment and just sign your name or include a short personal note.

4. Include clergy. When you're writing your notes, be sure to put the officiator on the list. This thank you note should be personal and separate from any donation you send to the house of worship.

5. Send a note to participants. If you've asked family or friends to participate in the service by singing, reading, greeting, acting as a pallbearer or another honor, send a personally written note. This lets them know how much you appreciated the gift of their participation.

6. Separate groups into individuals. When a group from your office, club or neighborhood sends a sympathy gift together, be sure to acknowledge each person who signed the card. When it's from your office or club and no individuals are singled out, send the thank you to the leader of the group, but write it to the group as a whole.

7. Break the task down. As a way to make sure you write your sympathy thank you notes at a manageable pace so that it doesn't overwhelm you, set a goal to write only a few notes per day.

Tips & Warnings

• When thanking neighbors, consider making a trip to their homes. This also serves to get you out of the house and actually interacting with other people.