How to Fall Back in Love with The Love Bank

In relationships, we really do keep score. The way that we ”keep score” is not necessarily a conscious one. Our mind automatically keeps an account of how well our partner is meeting our emotional needs. Our partner has a Love Bank of us too. The way it works is simple. 1. When we act in a way to please our spouse, we gain points in their Love Bank. When we act in a way to displease them, we lose points. 2. Most of us are not aware of our partners needs let alone our own. We frequently give to our mate what we need but often miss the mark in meeting their needs by not giving them what they want. 3. There are two ways to increase Love Bank scores: a) Increase behaviors which meet our spouses important emotional needs. b) Stop behaviors that make our partner unhappy. The latter is called Love Busters. 4. a) When we have accumulated a plethora of points, we fall in love. b) When there are less points coming in than are going out; when we are bankrupt or overdrawn, then we fall out of love.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Commmunication
• Desire to make things better

1. First off, many romantics do not think that it is possible to recapture love. Love is like an illusive butterfly. Once it is gone, it is gone and you can’t get it back. Of course, I do not agree with them. If you think of the Love Bank Concept, Just as it is possible to fall out of love, it is possible to fall back in love. Falling in love is achieved by getting a high enough Love Bank Score so that your partner falls in love with you. Gaining points by meeting the partner’s emotional needs can do this. Stop losing points by changing the Love Buster behavior (angry outbursts, dishonesty, etc.).
2. Couples need to be made aware of their partner’s emotional needs. Take some time to learn about each other’s needs in detail, and then discuss ways to meet these needs.
   The most common emotional needs for men are:
   1. Sexual Fulfillment
   2. Attractive Spouse
   3. Admiration
   4. Domestic Support
   5. Recreational Companionship
   
   The most common emotional needs for women are:
   1. Affection
   2. Conversation
   3. Openness and Honesty
   4. Family Commitment
   5. Financial Support
3. Make efforts to put back into the "Love Bank" by doing things that you know will meet your partner's emotional needs. You'd be surprised how much of an effect the little things can have. Set aside time in which you focus on meeting your partner's needs, and make it happen.

Tips & Warnings

• Make sure to avoid the love busters!
• Take the time to really get to know your partner's emotional needs- ask them about it. Sit down and have a conversation with them.
• Approach the situation with patience. Nothing fixes a situation overnight.