How to Write an Obituary People Will Remember

Obituaries have a tendency to be dry and heavily laden with a list of deceased and surviving relatives. Think back about obituaries you have read. What do you recall from them? Maybe it was the age of the deceased, unusually young or old at the time of passing, but you remember little if anything else. Why not write the obituary of your deceased friend or relative – maybe even prepare your own obituary – to tell of lifetime contributions and add some humor. Write things that make people remember the deceased with a smile. The following guides are based on the death of an adult.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• You need to have known the person who passed, or interview someone who knew him/her to extract memorable events to include in the obituary.

1. The typical first line of an obituary will include the name, age, date of death and where the person was living. Example: Tom Thumb, 92, Washington, D.C., passed this life on April 1, 2008.
2. Provide your reading audience a brief background by telling where Tom (you would use Mr. Thumb in the article) went to school (high school and college, include the degree). If Tom participated in extracurricular activities tell us. “He was well known for his blocking abilities on the Tigers football field.” Continue telling about Tom’s working career – when did he start working/retire. Add events associated with employment or service to others, like charity projects and military career. “He was well loved by the learning disabled that he coached at the softball field.”
3. With the basics written, move on to Tom’s hobbies or just things that he did, like listening to classical music. Help your readers to envision what Tom was like from a perspective his friends may not have known. Did Tom have a passion, like the most perfect lawn in the neighborhood, or the shiniest car? Write to those things. “His well-manicured lawn was the envy of the neighborhood.”
4. Instead of listing all living relatives, name only immediate (where they live -- city, state): spouse, children, parents (if still living), and siblings. You can even show Tom’s love for animals by mentioning his pet; “His lab puppy, Charlie, followed Mr. Thumb everywhere.” Then follow that with number (not names) of living grandchildren, nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles. Also include family members who preceded him in death, naming immediate family members (“…father, Tim Thumb, of Sparkleland, FL”), and listing other relatives by their relationship, e.g., “two brothers.”
5. On to the specifics about the viewing and/or funeral. Let your readers know the time and location of services as well as the location of interment. If any part of the services is private, mention that here. The thought of a funeral can be depressing for anyone. Make it more lighthearted. Consider adding a touch of humore like, “Mr. Thumb’s singing friends, Jack and Jill, will be singing one of Mr. Thumb’s favorite songs, Side By Side, where they will be rewording the song as he requested to “...side by side, until now.”
6. Many obituaries end with a recommendation to make donations to a specific organization (e.g., the association backing an illness) or medical facility (e.g., long term care center) in lieu of sending flowers.

Tips & Warnings

• Finding it difficult to write some uplifting thoughts? Ask friends, even if they don't know the deceased, how to word your thoughts.