How to Make a Graceful Exit After a One Night Stand

One night stands, though fun, can cause a million and one predicaments. Unfortunately, most of those variables do not become obvious until the morning after. It can be confusing, especially if you've had too much to drink. You're probably so busy trying to remember everything that happened that you don't even notice that you're lying next to a stranger. If you're not interested in pursuing a lasting relationship, that's fine, but you should avoid causing an awkward display that will burn any bridges. After all, you never know who this person knows in your circle. Here's your guide to making a graceful exit after a one night stand.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Stay calm in the initial moments after you're both awake. It is extremely likely that you're both sharing the same thoughts, going through the blurry details of last night and wondering what to do next. Take a moment to organize your thoughts, but don't just lie there in silence forever.

2. Break the awkward silence that settles over the initial wake-up and offer a good morning. See how this nicety is reciprocated in order to gage the conversation.

3. Say something charming or witty about last night. Referring to your tryst as "pretty wild," "out of character," or talking about how "uninhibited you were" will seem complimenting while remaining completely non-committal. This leaves the door open for you to see each other again, but doesn't put you in the definitive "I'll call you" zone.

4. Though you may be full of regret right now, try not to say anything that will make you seem strange or demented. Hesitate to ask them how they feel about S&M, and don't brag about previous sexual exploits as a means of scaring them off. It's possible you'll seem them again or even meet or want to hook up with one of their acquaintances in the future.

5. Look at your phone, the nearest clock or ask what time it is and then stage a momentary freak out about how late you are for something. Anything goes here, but make sure it's believable. Don't claim work meeting on a Sunday or a hairdressing appointment on Monday morning. Breakfast with a friend, picking up your brother from the airport, shopping with mom or a pick-up basketball game with friends will work just fine.

6. Avoid complimenting word vomit. It's an easy out when you're trying to avoid drama, but this will only add to the confusion when you don't call later in the week. A one night stand is what it is--a collaborative effort--and neither of you should feel guilty for leaving it at that.

7. Leave early, before you've outstayed your welcome, and be courteous and respectful. Thank them for a wonderful night and do not say you'll call if you don't intend to.

8. Make sure you have all of your clothes when you make your hasty exit. The last thing you want is to have to call or stop by to pick up the ring your grandmother gave you on your 18th birthday or your Blackberry. Do a quick check in a mirror before you run out the door to avoid any walk-of-shame moments.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't say you'll call if you don't intend to.
• Be courteous, but don't be too nice that you make it seem like you're interested in pursuing more.
• Take all of your belongings with you when you go. You don't want to have to call or be called later.
• Don't sneak out while they're in the bathroom. This just makes you seem immature and will burn bridges.

[VickyWard]

on 3/20/2009 Smart. Nobody wants to lose their phone to a one-nighter.

[Lorett]

on 7/29/2008 THats nice in theory but what if refuses your niceties and is a arse