How to gain real self confidence?

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By konttaruan
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Did you ever notice that all of the classical methods for gaining self-confidence usually do not help? Advices such as "trust yourself", "you are unique", "you are not worse than anyone else", and so on. The problem with all these advices are that, they are "delusional". Then what is the real way to gain self-confidence?

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Guts to face your fears
Eagerness to "fail"

Step 1

In order to gain self-confidence, you need to "succeed". There is no better way then "succeeding" if you want to gain self-esteem. Infact, it is the only way to gain "real" self-confidence. All the other advices and techniques are useless in the long term. Not everyone has to be self-confident, only those who take risks and achieve their goals deserve to be self-confident. So the first thing you should do is, to forget all the other methods, and concentrate on "success"
Step 2

Now you realized that you have no choice but to succeed, you should also realize this: you can not succeed without trying. You need to somehow gather your courage and try. Remember, I am not saying, "Hey, trust yourself, you can do it!" The only thing you need to do is try. And do not think that "trying" is easy. This step is the challenging part.
Step 3

Achieve. Infact, the complete third step should be "fail until you achieve". Remember that practice and experience makes you better, there is no doubt about that. Whatever it is you want to achieve, you will eventually achieve by trying it so many times(could be a great date, or a successful job interview) unless it is impossible.(like touching the moon)
Step 4

Now that you achieved your goal, the rest is easy. You can motivate yourself as much as you want by reminding yourself the time you "succeeded". Now you deserve to be self-confident, and not in a fake way.

Comments

HardworkinJudy said

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on 11/18/2008 If we put our trust in a higher source we cannot help but succeed, although we may not know we have succeeded because we do not know the plan He has for us.

Thank you for sharing and God bless.

Cherrie said

on 10/8/2008 Frans Kafka's quotation is correct. In addition:
One lady told me that on top of the competition is always space. She was correct.
Another lady told me, we have to try so hard that our fingers bleed. She was correct, although my fingers did not bleed visibly.
In continuous trying is blessing. We are then not preoccupied with the result but subjugate in our efforts all our negative, earthly heavy and disappointing feelings. Trying is a medicine for most ills, as long as the goal is in the realm of the normal. You should not want to become a space craft pilot, if you are short sighted for example. Who does not try, cannot succeed. Who tries gets results the one or other way, as God sees fit. Often it takes us even time to understand in which way we got rewarded. There are more than one way to get a reward. It does not need to go our way or desire.