How to Last Longer

Many men are terrified about the whole idea of premature ejaculation. Talk about being out of control! A lot of the male psyche is caught up by the idea of control. When he ejaculates prematurely, it can be a huge blow to his ego. What exactly is premature ejaculation? It's when a man climaxes (ejaculates his semen) within a few minutes of stimulation. It can become a vicious cycle. One of the major causes of premature ejaculation is anxiety. So, if he's worried that he's going to climax too early, chances are that his worry will come true. This is less of a problem with manual or oral sex than with vaginal intercourse, simply because the woman isn't expecting a hand or blow job to last until she achieves an orgasm. But, it can put a crimp in things, since you may barely be getting started. Also, a quick erect and orgasm is much less satisfying for him. So, here are a few techniques to help you slow down that spurt of semen!

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Have him lie back and begin to stimulate him manually without lubrication. Remind him to concentrate on the physical sensations in his penis.
2. As soon as he starts to become aroused, he should stop, take deep breaths, and try to bring his level of arousal down.
3. When he signals you to stop, stop immediately and wait until he gives you a signal to proceed. The goal is to start and stop for fifteen minutes before he ejaculates.
   
   You can help the stopping by squeezing his penis with your thumb on the frenulum and your fingers wrapped around the shaft of the penis. You'll need to take a firm grip and make sure that you don't move your hand once you've taken hold. Any movement at this point could trigger an ejaculation.
4. He should continue in that start and stop process for up to fifteen minutes (if possible) before ejaculating.
   
   He may not be able to achieve the full fifteen minutes at first. But that's all right. Fifteen minutes is the goal, not the starting point.
   
   As he practices this technique, he'll should be able to increase the amount of time during the arousal part and decrease the number of "stops" before ejaculation.
5. Once he is able to do the Starting and Stopping technique for fifteen minutes with only one or two stops, then he should start incorporating lubrication in with the exercise. As lubrication creates a more intense, pleasurable sensation, he may find himself needing to start and stop more often. This is to be expected. Have him continue working until he can control his arousal for fifteen minutes with one or two stops.
6. Now, rather than starting and stopping, try incorporating different manual techniques, including various stroking methods and rhythms, so that the pressure to ejaculate lessens. The goal at this point is to create various levels of arousal going from low to medium (avoiding intense arousal) for the fifteen minutes. You should not be using lubricant for this step.
7. Once he develops the ability to change intensity in his arousal, he can practice this method with lubrication.
8. Once he finds he can control the intensity level for fifteen minutes, he can add the sensation of lubrication to the process.
9. After you have brought him to three fifteen-minute orgasms, you begin using oral stimulation and slowing down instead of complete stops during the process.

Tips & Warnings

• Have patience. There is no magic cure. The method outlined above will take weeks or months. Reassure him that you are willing to work with him and give him the room he needs to improve.
• Although the goal during these practices is fifteen minutes, that doesn't mean that every sexual experience needs to last for precisely that length of time. For some couples, five minutes is fine. Don't get hung up on numbers. The important thing is that you both find pleasure in the activity.
• Often, the cause of premature ejaculation is psychological. Many men have feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment because they think they lack control. It's important that you support him. Don’t add to his misery by blaming him or making fun of the problem. It isn't funny to him.