How to Discuss Your Lesbian or Bisexual Interest in a Friend

It can be very hard to tell a friend that you are lesbian or bisexual. Often you worry that she will feel uncomfortable or threatened around you. The situation can become difficult if you want to tell one of your friends that you are interested in her as more than just a friend. Follow these steps to learn how to discuss your lesbian interest in a friend.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Decide whether or not she is comfortable with lesbian and gay lifestyles before you bring up your attraction to her. If you have ever discussed subjects like gay marriage or gay rights with her, you probably already know how she feels about homosexuality. If she appears to be homophobic, it's probably not a good idea to share your feelings with her.
2. Remember that the basis of a good friendship is honesty and communication; coming out to your friend about your feelings for her may make your friendship stronger. Even if she isn't interested in you as a girlfriend, it will help you get past your feelings if you are honest and discuss your feelings with her.
3. Discuss your feelings for her in private. Coming out about your feelings for her in front of other friends will make it hard for her to be honest with you if she feels the same way but isn't out of the closet yet.
4. Tell her you respect her as a friend and would like to remain friends even if she doesn't feel the same way about you. Girls can still be friends even if one is lesbian and one is straight.
5. Give her time to sort through her feelings. You just told her something that is a big deal, and she may need time to come to terms with your news. If she is curious about her sexuality, she may have mixed feelings at first.
6. Remain understanding if she doesn't have feelings for you in return. Telling someone you like them is always tough because you put yourself in a situation to be rejected. Remember there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
7. Go out on a date to see if you are compatible as a couple. It may be awkward at first to go from friend to partner, but relax and take it slow.