How to Help Your First-Born Child Adjust to a New Baby

Preparing for a new baby is an anxious and exciting time. There's much to do and many emotions to deal with. If the baby's not your first, you'd think it would make things less hectic. The truth is, it only adds to the complexity of the situation. You now need to prepare another person, who can't always understand the situation, for what's to come, while still making them feel loved.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Be honest. Give your child as much information as is appropriate for her age. Let her know what's happening before the baby is born and what to expect when you bring the new baby home.
2. Include him, if he desires. Allow your older child to be involved in preparations for the baby, such as picking out bedding, clothes and toys. If you're comfortable, allow him to help you pick out, make suggestions or narrow down choices for the baby's name. Don't force him to help if he doesn't want to, but let him know the invitation is always open.
3. Reinforce her importance. Make sure you let her know that you aren't replacing her and won't love her any less. Again, honesty is best. Let her know that the baby may need more attention at first, but that doesn't mean you love the baby more than your older child.
4. Set time aside. Once the baby arrives, make sure to make time for your older child, despite your hectic schedule. Remember that as much as the new arrival has turned your life upside down, your child's world has been disturbed even more and he had no say in the matter. Schedule a time, if necessary, even if it's just reading a book or playing a board game. If possible, arrange other care for the new baby so that other needs don't interrupt this time.
5. Be patient and consistent. Preschool or toddler siblings may regress and school-age children may show some resentment. Acknowledge those feelings and talk with your children about them. You can be a bit lenient with them when the baby first comes home, but avoid indulging for too long. Let you child know that most of life has stayed the same, and this included your expectation for his behavior.