How to remove or mask your fingerprints

Need to hide your fingerprints cuz you're paranoid? Well there's a bunch of easy ways!

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. The easiest way to hide your fingerprints is to wear gloves. However, old gloves develop bumps, cracks, and other unique characteristics that can still be traced back to you. I'd recommend using latex gloves. But get powder free ones. They're less comfortable to wear but they also don't leave behind any powder at all that can be traced back to a brand or residue on your hands.
2. You can't go walking around in public with latex gloves in without looking weird though so a more hidden way is to literally remove your fingerprints. Use medium or fine grit sand paper and stand sanding away at your fingers. It won't hurt at all because you'll just be removing dead skins cells with no nerves. To test if you've gone low enough, you can draw across your fingertips with a washable marker then quickly press it against some paper. If it leaves a fingerprint, keep going. You'll know you're done when it doesn't leave a distinct fingerprint. This method takes a while but it lasts several days. By the way, use new sandpaper. Most people are at least a tiny bit allergic to wood and injecting it into your skin while tearing it apart with used sandpaper will probably burn and itch pretty badly.
3. The fastest way to remove your fingerprints is to squirt some polyurethane glue onto them and rub it around until it dries into a thin coat. Elmer's Ultimate glue is available at every store from hardware to Walmart to auto part stores and it's not too expensive. Do note though that once it has dried there is no known solvent and it's incredibly uncomfortable once it has dried on your fingers. No soap or alcohol or anything will dissolve it off. The only way to remove it is to sand it off or wait several days for it to chip off as your skin cells flake off. But it's a nice, waterproof, super tough way to cover your fingerprints and have your hand still look pretty normal.