How to Stop Bullying at School

As adults, we may feel uncertain about how to handle bullying when we see or hear it happening in the schoolyard. Here are some tips to help respond effectively when you see bullying happening at school, and for making the best use of the "teachable moment"

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• The will to act

1. When you see or hear bullying, immediately stop the bullying. Stand between the child or children who bullied and those who were bullied, preferably blocking eye contact between them. Don't send any students away-especially bystanders. Don't immediately ask about or discuss the reason for the bullying or try to sort out the facts.
2. Use a matter-of-fact tone of voice to state what behaviors you saw/heard. Let kids know that bullying is unacceptable and against the rules (e.g., "Calling someone names is bullying and is against our school rules," or "That was bullying. I won't allow students to push each other that way").
3. Support the bullied child in a way that allows him or her to regain self-control, to "save face," and to feel supported and safe from retaliation. Don't ask what happened at the time of the incident. It can be very uncomfortable to be questioned in front of other children.
4. Include bystanders in the conversation and give them guidance about how they might appropriately intervene or get help next time. Don't put bystanders on the spot to explain publicly what they observed. Use a calm, matter-of-fact, supportive tone of voice to let them know that you noticed their inaction or that you are pleased with the way they tried to help-even if they weren't successful.
5. If appropriate, impose immediate consequences for students who bully others. Do not require children to apologize or make amends during the heat of the moment (everyone should have time to cool off ). All consequences should be logical and connected to the offense. As a first step, you might take away social opportunities (e.g., recess, lunch in the cafeteria).
6. Do not require the students to meet and "work things out." Unlike conflicts, bullying involves a power imbalance, which means this strategy will not work. Trying to find a way to "work things out" does not generally improve relationships between the parties. Instead, encourage the student who bullied to make amends in an appropriate manner.
7. See the resources just below for more information on how to stop bullying.

Tips & Warnings

• If it seems appropriate, consider notifying the parents of the children involved.
• If a situation has escalated beyond bullying, and a child or adult is in danger, notify the authorities immediately.