How to annoy your neighbor

We have all had them, the nosey old neighbor with way too much time on her hands. They are the ones on the phone with the city, county or whoever will listen. This is how I have made this woman crazy for 7 yrs.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• paint
• imagination
• spot lights

1. The very first thing you need to do is be aware of your cities rules etc. I first tried to get along with my nosey old neighbor ...it didn't work. So then I let her know that each and every time she caused trouble it would come back to get her. I feel this is essential. She worries for days when she pulls a stunt, wondering what is going to happen next.
   
   NEVER ever cause destruction of property. That's a no no. You want the county or city reps on your side. You want them to know your neighbor is a nut.
   
   Ok that said here are some of my doings for the past 7 yrs.
2. My neighbor called to complain that I had left grass clippings on my yard. My recourse, I started a compost pile near her bedroom window.
3. She called about my newly installed fence. I painted bright yellow smiley faces (on her side). Now she gets to see those every morning when she sits on the patio.
4. She was constantly snooping into our windows. So my daughters room faces her bedroom and we decided to shine a 150w spot light out the window into hers.
5. She snoops in the bushes and thinks no one can see her. So one morning I adjusted the sprinklers ooops they happen to be aimed at the bushes. That was the best morning coffee break I've had in ages. FYI they do make motion sensor sprinklers for garden pests.
6. My husband came up with this one, it borders on destruction so I'm not sure if I will let him do it. They always leave town in the summer for weeks. He wants to sprinkle their lawn with radish seeds and chives etc. anything that spreads. Its really tempting. But Society Garlic gives off a terrible smell and I think if the compost doesn't get her that plant surely will.
7. They have a patio or outdoor area they sit in alot? Put tons of bird food around the seating. What goes in comes out. My neighbors spent days cleaning.
8. I set 3 tents up in my backyard and my husband and I talked about renting them out just loud enough for her to hear, again while in the bushes. Then invite people over. I'm sure your friends already know about your nutty neighbor and would be glad to lend a hand. Have them show up with suitcases. My neighbor went crazy on the phone the next day with the county insisting someone lived in those tents. After the code enforcement agent stopped laughing he inspected the tents to find them empty. I explained we had just come home from a camping trip and was airing them out. Ok so now he thinks she's a nut too...Good Deal!

Tips & Warnings

• Wave to your neighbor and smile every time you see them, it drives them crazy.
• Read your cities laws
• Do not destroy property, only peace of mind.