How to React to a Boyfriend's Secret

A key component of a healthy relationship is honesty. With this open and honest dialogue, there may come the revelation of secrets that a person may be revealing for the first time to anyone. When a person such as a boyfriend discloses a secret, it is important to react accordingly or the boyfriend can suffer emotional trauma.

Instructions

1. Allow the boyfriend to finish talking. Too many times a person will react the moment they hear the secret and not allow the boyfriend to finish their entire story. Often the details of the secret are as important as the secret itself.

2. Put yourself in his shoes and think how you would feel. You can't just react solely from your perspective. This is not about you, but it is about your reaction because this is an important person in your life.

3. Be supportive and act as if this secret did not change your opinion of him even if it did. Your boyfriend is vulnerable and if he feels you respect him less or feel differently about him it can damage the relationship. Therefore even if you are shocked or angered, this is not the time to express those feelings.

4. Tell him a secret of your own. This makes him feel like you are now in the same boat and you trust him with a secret of your own. Try to reveal some similar secret if possible. However, understand that the boyfriend may react negatively if the secret affects him. His reaction to your secret may have nothing to do with secret and everything to do with how he feels about himself.

5. Make every effort to stay away from negative comments or facial expressions. Negative comments will make the boyfriend feel worse and will most likely trigger a negative reaction in return. Also, make sure your facial reaction does not belie your words. Keep a calm and understanding facial reaction before and after the revelation.