How to Cope With a Sibling Leaving for College

After spending a lifetime alongside a brother or sister and sharing your lives, losing that daily contact can be traumatic. Children grow up and leave the nest-for college, marriage and adult independence. When a sibling leaves for college, the break may be temporary, but coping can still be difficult. The loss is real and requires a plethora of coping mechanisms.

Instructions

1. Prepare for the change. Start talking about your sibling's new adventure early. Accompany your family on visits to the school. Get involved in planning sessions your brother or sister has with your parents.

2. Give yourself something to look forward to in order to take away some of the sting of separation. Plan to move into the soon-to-be vacated room. Plan visits to the college campus. Set up times for phone visits.

3. Let yourself grieve. Covering up feelings of sadness and abandonment can set the stage for developing other problems down the line. Expect to experience ups and downs during the initial separation period. Cry when you feel like it and don't let feelings of guilt interrupt any feelings of relief or happiness you might have. Give yourself time to adjust to the changes.

4. Talk to someone if you find yourself feeling extremely sad or anxious. This can be a difficult transition for some sibs left at home. Coping is not the same for everyone. Tell your parents about your strong feelings and ask them to find a professional with whom you can talk to work through your grief.