How to Prepare for a Custody Evaluation

A custody evaluation is a stressful event. You've just gone through a divorce, or may still be in the midst of it. Now you have to fight for parental rights. Although the judge makes the ultimate decision, he gives enormous weight to the evaluator's opinion. Take a deep breath, and mentally prepare yourself for this important evaluation. Realize the evaluator is trying to discern what is best for your children.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Understand the evaluator, usually a psychologist specializing in forensic work, will be chosen by the court. The court might also appoint a psychiatrist or licensed clinical social worker. You cannot request a certain evaluator.

2. Schedule your appointments for your custody evaluation, and never miss one without a good reason. Always be on time. You don't have to dress up, but be neat and fairly conservative.

3. Gather a list of names and telephone numbers of people who will vouch that you should receive primary custody. The evaluator will contact your references. Let your references know to expect a call from the evaluator.

4. Tell the truth. Some parents try to present themselves as perfect. The evaluator knows everyone has faults. She'll also check out your responses with your references. Be honest on psychological testing, also. These tests are designed to detect defensive answers.

5. Prepare your children. If they are young, tell them the evaluator is a person helping Mom and Dad make some decisions. Do not tell your children to say bad things about the other parent. If your children are older, you will need to tell them more, but don't overload them with detailed information.

6. Welcome the evaluator into your home for a home visit. Seeing you and your children interact in your home setting is an important part of the custody evaluation.

7. Be reassured that most custody evaluations end with both parents having some rights. Custody rulings are rarely all or nothing situations.

Tips & Warnings

• Even though it may be difficult, don't pursue a custody evaluation just to satisfy a personal vendetta against your ex. Evaluations are extremely stressful and incredibly expensive.