How to Deal with Infidelity
Infidelity can cause a massive disruption in a marriage. The emotional stress of learning that your partner has betrayed your trust is only the first blow. The aftermath can bring several other painful effects such as divorce and the complications that come along with it. There is no one correct way to deal with infidelity. As long as you seek emotional stability and some form of moving forward, you are doing what is best for you and your loved ones.
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Things You'll Need
- A New Attitude
- Makeover
- My Time
- Date
- Growth
- Conversation
- Resolution
- Back to A New Attitude
Instructions
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1
Resist the urge to confront the person with whom your partner cheated. This will not help the situation. It will not change the fact that your partner was unfaithful, and any specifics you may glean from this person will not help your situation.
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2
Talk to your partner about the infidelity. Do not approach this conversation with anger, but explain that you know about her infidelity if she was not the one to tell you about it. Tell your partner how much you hurt. Don't come to any decisions regarding your future together at this point, but give your partner a chance to explain the circumstances surrounding the transgression.
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3
Seek the counsel and comfort of close friends and relatives. Don't divulge information about the infidelity to everybody you know as this can cause undue stress on both you and your partner. Telling a couple of trustworthy people who will be able to offer their support can greatly assist you. Even if you just need somebody to be there while you cry, that presence can be very comforting.
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Consider where you want to go from here, whether you still want to continue in the relationship or if you will seek separation or divorce. Consider factors such as the history of your relationship, the duration of the affair and the reaction of your partner when confronted. Consider whether your partner was apologetic and promised the affair was over, and whether it is possible to work together to rebuild the trust that was betrayed. Nobody can make this decision for you. Only you can determine if a future exists for you and your partner.
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References
- Photo Credit Pixland/Pixland/Getty Images
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Comments
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thank you... your article has been a great help for me. I am struggling to understand why after for children and 25 years together - after taking a load of emotional and verbal abuse from my spouse because the culture that I live in expects me to give his the respect and honour of a husband - the head of the household - and that I have done - even so much as becoming the sole breadwinner allowing him to follow his dreams - that... that he just ups and tell that the children and I are not his problem and that he has better things to do then bother about us... his different ladies of interest are more important.... I don't really know what to do... how to cope.... the children are suffering more than anything... and in all they believe him when he says that it is my fault all this is happening... I drove him to cheat in our marrage.
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mpena73
Jan 11, 2009
I was married for 2 years, together with my husband for 7 yrs before we tied the not, after the 2 yrs, I found out at my moms funeral that he was having an affair. I had a gut feeling already but afterwards he was absent to help me deal w my loss, my mother died in the car we were ridding in due to an unxplained heart attack, my son and I tried to perform cpr and we were on a trip out of town so all of us were there, by the time we reached an abulance...it was unequipped...I knew I lost her in my arms....none the less. after that his patterns just worsened...and I found facts and proof and hired a PI, and i confirmed it. He denied it, but moved out and since moved in with the "other woman", two yrs later..he never stopped communicating with me...and never let me "go", but when I finally came to the final step of this article....he decided he wanted to come back home....So already i had
