How to Become a Great Stepmom

Becoming a great stepmom requires sincerity and a connection with your stepchildren.

Taking on the role of a stepmother may seem extraordinarily challenging and at times, overwhelming. Although the responsibilities of becoming a good stepmom are great, it is possible with enough time and dedication to build a long-lasting healthy relationship with your stepchildren.

Instructions

1. Reflect on your own stepchildren along with each of their ages, interests and personalities. Understanding how your stepchildren currently live, behave and communicate with others will help you when building a relationship with them individually.

2. Talk with your spouse about growing the relationship with you and your stepchildren. Make plans as a family and ask your spouse for advice on how to approach the children or get along better with each one.

3. Give praise, showing approval and encouragement to your stepchildren to build trust and help with communication.

4. Create "family rules" rather than your own by working with your spouse and the children, coming to an agreement on rules. Having family-generated rules will eliminate any blaming or negative feelings against you if one of the children begins causing trouble. Set boundaries while keeping communication open and honest -- allowing your stepchildren to view you as a respected authority figure, rather than a dictator attempting to "tell them what to do". Stay consistent with your rules and boundaries, keeping up with disciplinary action.

5. Have open discussions with your stepchildren when asked for advice, staying firm and direct yet caring and supportive. If there is a serious issue or concern, inform your spouse before making a decision for the child.

6. Show interest in your stepchildren's hobbies and interests by attending events related to the activity or discussing them together.

Tips & Warnings

• If possible, attempt to get along with your stepchildren's mother as this will help smooth communication between all adults involved with the children.

References

• Kaboose: Parenting: Step-Mom 101: Parenting Articles and Tips; Jennifer Santiago
• Life Script: 5 Stepmom Tips for Staying Sane; Rose Alexander
• Peace and Projects: Wicked New Series: Step Mom Tips
• Huffington Post: 10 Parenting Tips Every Stepmom Must Know; Rachelle Katz
• Stepmom SOS: Advice for the Stepmom

Resources

• The Step Family Life: Links for Stepmoms
• The Stepmom's Toolbox: Tips, Tools, and Advice