Things You'll Need:
- Stupidity
- Ignorance
- People to support your ignorance & stupidity
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Step 1
Do not under any circumstances pay any attention to any world news. As you will see ignorance is the happy persons best friend.
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Step 2
Ignore the suffering of your neighbors.
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Step 3
Ignore the fact the most of your life has been spent destroying what will become your children's world someday.
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Step 4
Lie to yourself constantly. This is perhaps the most important step, because the instant you realize that you are no more important than anyone else some of your happiness may escape.
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Step 5
Add as much fiction to your life as you can. Fiction can be found everywhere- TV, radio, magazines, newspapers and books. The addition of so much fiction will help cloud reality and this will in turn boost your happiness. (reality is quite depressing)
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Step 6
Have children no matter what. Even if you cannot afford to or have no idea how to raise them. I'm not sure how this one works but it seems to so....Get busy!
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Step 7
Make others angry and unhappy. Because of the way we compare things, someone else's sorrow adds tremendously to our own happiness.(apparently)
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Step 8
DO NOT under any circumstances consider the wishes or best interests of the majority. This will only drive you crazy. At all times, try to only think of yourself. This should come quite naturally to you, but if you need assistance consider talking to a politician or lawyer.
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Step 9
Surround yourself with people who have no idea what is going on. People who know what is going on hate steps 1 though 9 and will not contribute to your happiness.
Comments
TADJ said
on 7/15/2008 I think the happiness of one's life depends on the quality of his thoughts
MichaelJMotta said
on 4/15/2008 This article can't offend anybody, since those whom it might possibly offend don't know what "satire" means and so they'll read it seriously and think of themselves as perfect according to your recommendations. For Step 7, the Germans have a word for this, "Schaedenfraude". I hope I've spelled it correctly, as the only German I know is from reading German lit in English translation (if that makes any sense). Enjoyed it! Peace, Michael
HistoryGeek said
on 4/10/2008 I like this very much! Do critique mine when you get the chance.
DolphinpodP said
on 4/3/2008 Thank you both. I was worried people would be offended and that is not my intention. But I figured whatever doesn't kill us.....
only1special1 said
on 4/3/2008 Unfortunately, this is so true! The rest of us just fake it from day to day. No one else needs to know how miserable we really are...