How to Leave Your Lover

Paul Simon says there are fifty ways to it. I imagine there are probably fifty-thousand ways to it. But when it comes to leaving your lover, one thing’s for certain: it’s never easy. Here are seven simple steps to end your romantic relationship in the best way.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Get clear. Off-again on-again relationships are dramatic and draining for both parties involved. Are you ready to break up once and for all or simply in need of a little space to sort out your feelings?
2. Do it now. There is no perfect time to break up. Breaking up is always difficult. If you know you’re ready to call it quits there is no sense in waiting for the “right” time. Doing so only delays the inevitable.
3. Get face time. It is best not to end romantic relationships via telephone, email, text or IM. If you’re nervous about how your soon-to-be ex will take the news, meet in a public place where you can have some private space like a coffee shop or city park.
4. Say it straight. A simple, “This isn’t working for me anymore,” is really all you need to say. You don’t need to blame your ex. You don’t need to dredge up fights from the past. You don’t need to spill the gory details about the new person you’ve fallen for. Chances are, if you’re not feeling it anymore, your lover isn’t feeling it anymore. If it isn’t right for you, it isn’t right for him or her either.
5. Acknowledge your influence on each other. In the midst of a breakup it can be easy to get caught in the negative aspects about the relationship. Instead, make your focus on thanking your soon-to-be ex for all the things he or she has taught you and sharing the things you are going to miss about having him or her in your life.
6. Stay strong. If your lover begs you back, don’t jump. Stay your course. If you want to reconsider rekindling the love say, “Let me think about it.” Then take some time apart to carefully decide whether or not you think another go-around at love will work.
7. Make a clean getaway. If you are certain that you don’t want to get back together, don’t leave the door open for rekindling with vague, weak endings. Be clear that you are ready for the relationship to end.