How to Write Your Mother's Obituary

Losing your Mother is difficult enough without having to face planning the funeral and writing an obituary. Using your memories and the memories of others who cared about your mother can be therapeutic.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Paper and pen or tape recorder
• Records of dates and names of births, marriages, employment, schools, hobbies and service groups.

1. Most obituaries begin with the name, age, and date of death. Many obituaries in the past few years have included pictures. What follows is a matter of personal preference. Some suggestions follow.

2. Her date and place of birth along with her parents names help to notify people who may have known her a long time ago but haven't seen her in years.

3. A time-line of her life, including dates of marriage and husband's name, education, where she worked, clubs and organizations she was a member of, hobbies and activities she enjoyed and participated in, favorite places, volunteer work, names of children and grandchildren, pets and special friends help to honor what your mother did with her life and notify people who may not recognize her by name.(Oh, I knew her! She was that nice lady at church who taught my daughter's Sunday School class!)

4. The list of surviving relatives can include any of the following: spouse, children and spouses, grandchildrenand spouses, parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, special friends, special aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, special pets, or whoever you know was important in your mother's life. Pay special attention to spelling in this area.

5. Most obituaries include dates and times of visitation and date and time of the service along with the name and address of where each will be held. Some visitation is held at the funeral home while the service is at a church, or both may be at a funeral home or a church. The name of the pastor, priest, relative or friend who is presiding over the service may be included. If there are any special services, such as an Eastern Star or military service, the date and time for that should be listed, too.

6. Many families request that memorial gifts replace flowers. People appreciate suggestions of where the family wants memorial gifts to go. You will want to choose organizations that were important in your mother's life, such as a church, a group she was a member of, a library or school she used, a charity that was meaningful in her life. Was she diabetic? Donations to the American Diabetes Foundation might be appropriate. You and your family knew her best. You choose.

7. No matter how much care you take in writing up the obituary, there may be a mistake or an omission somewhere between your submission and the newspaper's printing. If you see an error, call the newspaper right away so corrections can be made before the next edition of the newspaper is printed.

8. Your mother was a very special, unique person. One obituary can't sum up everything she was, but it can include enough information to draw together those who knew her, and their memories along with yours help a great deal with your grieving process.