How to Prepare for a Bat or Bar Mitzvah

Planning your child's bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah begins the day the child is born. While the learning takes place between your child and the tutor, you have the responsibility of putting together the celebration. Whether you choose a small luncheon or an elaborate evening with dinner and dancing, organization and planning is key.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Contact the temple when the child reaches age ten. Find out about the process and the synagogue's preparation time frame for the candidate. Anticipate that formal lessons start one year before the bar/bat mitzvah.
2. Determine the type and style of the event to mark the occasion. Consider lifestyle, local traditions and budget. Contact venues, caterers and entertainers. Ask friends for references.
3. Reserve the venue at least one year before the event. Book the photographer and videographer, florist, entertainment and caterer and pay the deposits. Involve the child and decide on a theme, color scheme and "tzedakah" (charity) community service project.
4. Organize the guest list six month prior to the event. Make sure that all addresses are current. Order an ample supply of invitations, thank you cards, direction cards, napkins and guest towels. Finalize plans for decorations and floral arrangements. Decide on party favors for the younger guests.
5. Make arrangements for out-of-town guests to stay with friends and family in the area or at a local inn or hotel. Check for special rates for large groups. Decide if there's other events for family and close friends, like a Shabbat the evening before or Sunday brunch.
6. Finalize the menu, decorations and floral arrangements three months before the date. Arrange hair and nail appointments. Order personalized yarmulkes. Mail out the invitation eight weeks ahead. Work with the candidate to write something for the candle-lighting ceremony.
7. Conform all the plans in the final weeks. Develop the seating plan. Arrange the rehearsal time. Coordinate transportation for out-of-town guests. Confirm the final count with the caterer. Assemble an emergency kit with scissors, lip gloss, make-up, a hairbrush and comb, nail file and small sewing kit.

Tips & Warnings

• If you prefer to use a party planner, start making contacts three years before the event.
• Maintain close contact with your child's tutor. Talk to your child frequently about the lessons and progress. Always be calm and reassuring.

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