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How to Deal With a Boyfriend's Ex

Contributor
By eHow Contributing Writer
(4 Ratings)

Everyone has a past and sometimes that past can come back to haunt him as his ex-girlfriend. Try as you might, you cannot erase your boyfriend's past. Therefore, the only option left is to learn to deal with your boyfriend's ex.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging
Instructions
  1. Step 1

    Talk to your boyfriend about his ex. Ask him what were the reasons for the break-up and how he feels about her now. Try to be sensitive to his feelings about this person. If he does not want to talk about it, do not press the issue.

  2. Step 2

    Ask his friends about the ex-girlfriend and her relationship with your boyfriend. Friends can be a better source of information because they can have some perspective about how the previous relationship evolved and eventually ended. Understand that he may still have a relationship with the ex-girlfriend and his perspective may be biased.

  3. Step 3

    Be confident in yourself and your relationship. If you becomes too worried about an ex, it can hurt the present relationship. Know that he is in a relationship with you now. Investigate the ex if she is a problem, but do not obsess over her.

  4. Step 4

    Contact friends of yours about the situation and ask for their input. While your friends probably did not know the ex-girlfriend they can be a means of support in dealing with the ex.

  5. Step 5

    Speak to the ex-girlfriend directly about how you feel about her. This is probably the riskiest means of dealing with the ex-girlfriend. This could possibly make the situation worse and end in confrontation. Just remember to be courteous and respectful when talking to this person.

  6. Step 6

    Seek counseling if it becomes too much of a problem. An impartial observer can really help you work through your feelings about a personal issue.

  7. Step 7

    Get a restraining order. This is the last viable step, but sometimes an ex-girlfriend can get out of control and you may need to contact the authorities. Do not enter into this lightly, because it can put undue stress on your life.

Comments  

cajt said

Flag This Comment

on 9/3/2009 Trust me... I've have done ALL of these steps and the crazy person still wants my boyfriend back and will probably stop at nothing to see him with her again. I have literally talked to the girl, gone to counseling.. and even considered a restraining order. She has harrassed me for the better part of three years. It seems like no matter how hard we try to make a life without any part of her present, doesnt work. I've even thought about the sad option.. in theory, I could just move on and let her get what she ultimately says she so desperatly wants. The problem is.. It's not about her winning. Its not a game. Its my life with this person who I love and have loved since I met him. So now my feelings are.. how do I truly make the choice to not let her affect my feelings and not let the stress of her get to me. There are alot of events coming up that I am (DREADFULLY) not excited about. S...

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