How to Fend Off an Obsessive Ex

In an obsessive relationship, one of the parties refuses to accept the end of the relationship. They often persists for weeks or months, arguing, pleading, phoning, emailing and appearing at all hours to appeal. Eventually, the behavior can escalate to stalking and even violence. If you have an obsessive ex, it's important to take immediate steps to send the right message.

Instructions

1. Make it clear that the rejection is not negotiable. Refuse any and all offers to meet for any reason. Look the ex squarely in the eyes and state the wish to be left alone. Inform family and friends of the situation.

2. Speak about the present and plans for the future, indicating that life goes on (and moves on). Resist the temptation to discuss past good times shared with the ex.

3. Return the ex's belongings and any gifts as a way to sever all ties. Gather everything up and have it delivered to the ex in one shipment.

4. Threaten to file for a restraining order in the event the ex appears to ignore the message. Be prepared to contact the authorities and follow through. Do what's necessary in order to have peace of mind.

5. Maintain evidence that may prove important later. Save letters, emails and voicemails that demonstrates harassment. Use the caller i.d. to create a phone log. Keep a log of the ex's behavior and report any unlawful activities to the authorities immediately.

6. Move and make sure the new address and phone are unlisted. Advise the Department of Motor Vehicles in writing to block personal information. Forward mail through a post office box. Refuse packages unless the sender is known.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid touching or any physical contact with the ex when meeting. Back away from attempts to hug or touch.