How to Insult Celebrities Like Brandon Davis

With so many celebrity gossip sites littering the Internet, it’s not difficult to insult a celebrity these days. In fact, it’s as simple as log-on and post. But to oil heir Brandon Davis, insulting celebrities is more like an art form–after all, it’s the reason he’s famous. By dubbing Lindsay Lohan "Firecrotch," Brandon Davis made a name for himself in pop culture as Lindsay's most outspoken nemesis.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Have lots of money. The only reason Brandon had enough nerve to call Lindsay Lohan “really poor” is because he comes from a family worth an estimated 4.9 billion.
   
2. Hang out with famous friends–the cameras will follow. Brandon has probably insulted celebs since birth, but it wasn’t until cameras caught him with his pal, Paris Hilton, that he got his opportunity to single out Lindsay and spread the gospel of Lindsay-loathing.
3. Be as disgusting as possible. Brandon did what few self-respecting people could actually do–publicly insult someone’s genitals. If he had merely called Lindsay "Firecrotch" and left it at that, we might never have heard of him. But his comment that Lindsay had a “seven-foot-long clitoris” definitely ensured maximum shock value.
4. Develop a sense of irony. After the Firecrotch scandal, Brandon was spotted around Tinsel Town in a “Team Firecrotch” t-shirt. This kept him in the headlines for a longer period and (dare we say) almost made him endearing.
5. Check into rehab and fuel the fire (crotch) of your scandal. Brandon was allegedly inebriated the night he delivered his Lindsay low-blows and he checked into rehab shortly after the incident. This left everyone wondering if it was him or the drugs and booze talking, but it didn't elicit much sympathy from the public toward Brandon.

Tips & Warnings

• What goes around, comes around. Brandon Davis’ actions made him a huge target for gossip fodder. When you insult celebrities like Brandon, you yourself will likely become a target--especially by the fan base of the celebrity you insult.