How to Show a Teen How Much You Care

In my years of counseling and coaching parents, I’ve talked with thousands of parents who love their teenagers, but aren’t sure how to show it. Parents want to have a positive relationship, but they’re uncertain of their role, and they wonder if their teenager still needs them. Parents sometimes don’t know how to keep the connection strong, and then the distance between parent and teen grows. Here are some ways to show your teen how much you still care.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• An open heart
• A flexible attitude

1. Be a Willing Chauffeur
   There are benefits to driving teens around. Often, parents feel left out of their teens' daily activities, but when they're the chauffeur, they're suddenly needed; it’s like being a member of the group. It’s amazing how much you learn about your teenager’s lives and friends when behind the wheel listening to their chatter. Driving teens to school and social engagements keeps you connected; you’re hearing what they’re taking about and that keeps you informed.
2. Choose Power Struggles Wisely
   Inherent in living with a teenager is the potential for daily disagreements, frequent misunderstandings and power struggles, so choose your battles carefully. Use your expertise to sidestep arguing over nonsense. Avoid getting caught up in fighting over small stuff that in the big scheme doesn’t really matter much. When things are getting heated, you might say: “Honey, let’s don’t argue about the small stuff.”
3. Lend a Helping Hand
   Encourage your teen to grow, to experiment, to change, to dream big. Inspire them to be all that they can be. Tell them over and over: “You are lending a helping hand when their down in the dumps or discouraged.
4. Give a Break
   Teens have lots of stress and sometimes they need a break. Allow your teen to play hooky from his chores for the weekend. Let him sleep late and serve breakfast in bed. When he's cranky over look it. Give her a break when she snaps or pouts. Say, "I know you're having a bad day."
5. Dream about Possibilities
   Help your teen create a vision for the future. Show her all the options. Point out the possibilities. Ask them about their dreams, "If you could do anything what would that be?"
6. Invite Friends In
   Make your home available and welcome their friends. Let him host a sports party. Let her be a hostess for a makeup party. Stock the refrigerator with their favorite foods. Pass out inspirational sayings to all the guests.
7. Hang out
   Take every opportunity to be with your teens. Look for small opportunities, a break from regular routine to seize the moment and be together. Hang out is a casual way--not with any purpose in mind, not to force conversation, but to simply be together.
8. Celebrate Milestones
   Whether it’s becoming a teenager when she turns 13 or he turns 16, whether it’s starting high school or graduating, all these events are milestones in teens' lives. They deserve to be honored for what they've been through and for what they have done. By acknowledging these events you honor your teen.
9. Be Positive
   Say out loud how grateful you are to be their parent. Surprise them with a gift of $20. Gifts for no reason are often the best motivators. By your example, teach them to pray. Tell them, "I'm glad your my teen." "Your a great person."
10. Be Good Natured
    Approach the daily routine with a twinkle in your eye and spring in your step. Replace worry with laughter. Be friendly. Show them how to enjoy life by enjoying days together.

Tips & Warnings

• Teens may not immediately show appreciation, but don't let that stop you from showing how much you care.