Things You'll Need:
- A medical degree
- Access to prescription drugs
- An attitude problem
- Several canes
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Step 1
First, you have to be a genius. That’s the only way you’re going to be able to get away with being arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic and self righteous while still being admired by the guys and lusted after by the ladies. One rule of thumb you can use to determine that genius would be to prove your med school professors to be wrong half the time and still not get flunked out.
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Step 2
You have to limp and use a cane. You may or may not have to suffer an infarction, as House did, but if you want to be a doctor like House, you have to limp like House. House without a cane is like Simon Cowell without a put down. Learn to use the cane to do other things, too, like trip people.
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Step 3
You cant be a doctor like House and not know that everything that can possibly be wrong with the human body could, at some point, be traced back to a case of lupus. It may or may not pan out in the final diagnosis, but you need to be lupus literate if you’re going to play in Greg’s sandbox.
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Step 4
Finally, you have to be hooked on prescription medication. This alone might be worth going through medical school, living with a bum leg and never really being happy about anything. It depends totally on your enjoyment of the benefits of Percocet. You can substitute a placebo if you want to wimp out on the deal, but House without pain pills is well, you know the rest.
