How to Imitate John McCain

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Nothing livens up a conversation, let alone a party, like an ability to do impressions. First dates, too, can be more enjoyable and less predictable if you can impress with your talent for mimicry (assuming, of course, that it’s not mistaken for you speaking in tongues or some other such possessed by demons kind of thing). Here’s a quick easy method to delight your friends and dazzle your date with a celebrity voice. In this case, here’s how to imitate John McCain.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Step1

Know it is hard to tell exactly what regional inflections to use when trying to sound like McCain. He lacks the distinctive sound of a Clinton or a Kennedy or even a baritone Obama. Your best bet at sounding like him is to try not to sound like anybody at all.

Step2

Remember the basset hound in the cartoons who used to say, in that low monotone voice, “You have made me angry?” Find that exact monotone tone, with no particular emotion in your voice no matter how passionate the content of what you’re saying and you’re already more than half way towards sounding exactly like McCain.

Step3

For visual flair, you can dye your hair snow white, thin it out a little and try a comb over. But that’s a lot of work for what will basically end up being a five second laugh.

Step4

The ultimate impression of John McCain is done by choosing to run for president in a year where the competition is so lame that you’ve pretty much got it locked up by January. If you cant raise the dough to run, though, just remember the monotone thing and you’re good to go.