How to Pass Gas Quietly in the Office
You spend more time at the office than you do at home, so trying to hold in gas while you're at the office can be a painful experience. Most of the time, you end up letting loose anyway when you least expect it. Passing gas quietly in the office is a skill that everyone should learn, if not for your own sake, then for your co-workers.
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Instructions
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Take a walk. If you have to pass gas, try taking a trip down the hallway to the bathroom or elevator. This gets you away from the crowd of people in the workroom and lets you keep a little bit of dignity while you let one rip.
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Mask the sound. Coughing, dropping a book or making other loud noises all work well when you want to passing gas without getting caught. If you're working on a computer, you can turn up the speakers and play music or a video to hide the sounds of your farting.
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Blame it on someone else. You've always hated that guy in accounting, so head over to his desk to hand him a report and let a stealthy one go. Then when someone calls you on it, pin the blame on the co-worker you can't stand. His protests may just make him appear guiltier.
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Hone your muscle skills. Learning to control your posterior muscles may seem strange, but with a little practice you can learn how to stop in mid-fart should someone come around the corner in a hurry.
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Comments
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pooooooooooot!
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:)~.
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ladypoot
Jul 27, 2009
I poot all the time at my desk. I cross my legs right at the ankles and squeeze my thighs together. Then slightly lean back against the chair like I'm stretching. Raise your butt up in the air just enough to let your poot out. Leaning to the side it too obvious. Just lift up. Use your legs to help lift you. Push the poot forward, this will help muffle it to the chair. If it crawls up your backside, it's over. They will know that you pooted. It will rumble on you. Even if it is long and makes noise, 9 times out of 10 noone will pay it attention rumbling from the chair. They'll think it was someone shoe sliding against the floor. After you pooted then quickly sit on it tightly so the smell does not escape. It don't hurt to strike up a conversation with your co-workers too. I do it all the time, I will talk, laugh and lift my butt and poot all at the same time. It will work. Happy poot...
