How to Turn a Hated Person Into a Best Friend

"Love thy enemy" is a common principle in religions around the world. Turning a hated person into a friend is one of the most difficult things in life, but it is well worth doing for your own spiritual and mental health.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Consider the thing or things he did to become a hated person in the first place. Look at those events from his perspective. Try to understand why he may have behaved in that way.

2. Accept that the past is in the past and there is nothing either of you can do to change it now, but you do have the power to change the future of your relationship.

3. Forgive her, in your heart and in your mind. Admit your own faults and missteps that you've committed in this relationship, and forgive yourself too. Let go of the blame and anger on both sides.

4. Talk to him. Uttering just one small compliment or peaceful comment can open the lines of more friendly conversation. He may be confused at first by this overture of goodwill, so be persistent.

5. Find something you have in common. Use that as a jumping off point for more long talks or activities you can do together as friends.

6. Progress to spending a lot of time together and having many long conversations on a variety of subjects. Become ingrained in each other's lives. Show you care about each other.

7. Seek to understand and forgive any of her actions that annoy you. A good friend is worth putting up with some irritations.

Tips & Warnings

• Realize that you can never change someone else, only yourself. You must accept everyone as they are.

[monamoore]

on 10/8/2009 I think this approach would be difficult and time consuming. What if the person isn't willing to accept your change of heart or willingness to overlook the past. I bit idealistic.....