How to Make New Friends in Your Retirement Community

You've finally decided to take the plunge. After living many years in your home, your children are finally on their own, and you have decided to begin living a carefree life in a retirement community. Gone are the days when you worried about maintaining the old place and of the loneliness you've felt as your neighborhood changed.

You may be heading for the 'good life" where someone else will cater to your every need, but you will be faced with starting a new life with new friends. Here are a few tips that will help you adapt to your new home.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Watch your future friends from a distance. Sit in the lobby before dinnertime the first couple of nights after you arrive and just "people watch." Undoubtedly, you will see folks with whom you probably have nothing in common, while other may soon become your friends. Watch people who go to dinner with others, as well as those who dine alone. Make a point of sitting with different groups for the first few nights and just observe.

2. Learn what activities are available. For example, if you have always wanted to learn how to play bridge, see if there is a card club you can join. Every retirement community will vary but there are groups in every one that not only will allow you to pursue something that interests you, but it will enable you to meet people and quickly become a contributing member of the community.

3. Be friendly. Everyone living in a retirement community is in the same boat, regardless of how long they have lived there. They are always on the lookout for new friends, just as you are as a new member of the community. Simply smile, be interested in what they have to say, and you will be amazed at how quickly you will be accepted. You'll never know when the two of you share the same interests until you give them a chance to talk about them.

4. Remember you can never have too many friends. There is no quota on friendships. They simply happen to those people who determine that a person can make a meaningful contribution to their lives. Don't be stand-offish, because that will slow down your quest of making new friends and you will quickly develop the reputation of being someone to avoid.

Tips & Warnings

• Every community has its cliques. They're often established by those people who feel the need to be insulated from others who threaten them. Until you are more familiar with the social dynamics of the community, be friendly to everyone and concentrate on establishing your own reputation.