How to Get Rid of the Bogeyman

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By Ryn Gargulinski
User-Submitted Article

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The bogeyman comes in many forms.

Nobody likes the bogeyman. What makes him particularly tricky is his ability to manifest himself in many forms. He can range from an imaginary hobgoblin who lurks outside windows to an icky ex who won’t leave you alone. These few simple steps will help you get rid of the bogeyman, no matter how he shows up in your life.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Bogeyman
Pen and paper
Matches or lighter
Container of “magic water”

Step 1

Figure out what kind of bogeyman is haunting you. These can include the persistent and unwanted ex, the neighbor who won’t stop popping his head over the fence or the lecherous coworker who drools on your keyboard as he tries to look down your shirt. Imaginary bogeymen include those crummy voices in your head that tell you you are worthless.
Step 2

Distance yourself in any manner possible, making it clear you have no interest in his continued attention.
Step 3

Write down a list of when he haunts you, why he haunts you and feelings you have to deal with to make him go away. If he is calling you worthless, write down 10 reasons why you are not. Burn the list once you’ve dealt with those issues.
Step 4

Sprinkle the doorways and windowsills with some of your “magic water,” which is just ordinary water in a cool container, and tell the kids that protects them now go to sleep.