How to Stop Domestic Violence

Many people think that Domestic Violence is just the physical abuse towards another person. However, domestic violence comes in many forms... Physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and sexual abuse are all different types of domestic violence. Find out how to fight all forms of domestic violence. Don't let violence control you... take control against domestic violence! Are you up to the challenge?

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Control, Confidence, Motivation, Will-power, Power of the Mind, Encouragement, and Help

1. 
   DV is all about Power and Control

   RECOGNIZE THE PROBLEM and PRAY ABOUT IT. Many women often disregard that there is a problem in their relationship. You may look at the situation as just a constant disagreement and that soon it will all just disappear. Sometimes, so much is going on daily that we tend to forget what is going on from day to day... I call this TEMPORARY AMNESIA.
   
   To solve this problem, KEEP A PRIVATE JOURNAL. Look on it from time to time to see how often the problem persists, what sparks the problem, and why it is happening.
   
   Always stay prayerful. If you believe in the power of God in Heaven, you better pray. A little bit of faith can "move mountains".

2. SPEAK UP. Don't be afraid to tell that person to STOP! Domestic Violence is all about control. When someone is trying to manipulate a situation to draw you out of your character, you need to take control and say 'Enough is enough'. Let that person know that you will not deal with their abuse and that they will either need to get help or get out. Getting away from the person you dearly love can be tough and challenging, but your peace of mind will be well worth it.
   
   Most times the abuser does not even realize that they are abusing the one that they love. They just look at the situation as a common "fight". If this is the case, and they see no wrong in what they are doing, the abuser will therefore continue to abuse the one they are with and will NOT get help. Their usual thought is that YOU are the problem, even though, in reality, YOU are NOT the problem, YOU ARE THE VICTIM.

3. If talking to the abuser does not work and the problem persists...
   
   TELL SOMEONE (preferably a close friend or a trusting, close relative). I know that I like to keep my personal life... well, PRIVATE. However, it is important to let someone know that you are presently a victim of domestic violence. A listening ear will help relieve some of the stress that you have inside you. Also, how can you get help if you don't let someone know what is going on? Anything can happen to you when you live in an unstable household. Make sure SOMEONE is aware of what you are going through! Don't be too embarrassed to tell it all... and don't hesitate to give them every little detail.

4. 
   Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE

   LET AUTHORITIES KNOW! There is know specific step to perform this action. This can be done in as early as Step number 2.
   
   Don't be afraid to inform authorities of your situation. Call the police! Get a restraining order! Do what you can to protect yourself and/or your family. It's not about worrying about the abuser' s reputation. Stop worrying about the abuser, and worry about YOU! Love yourself!
   
   If you truly care for the one abusing you, help that person realize that he NEEDS HELP. Authority figures could help the abuser by enforcing anger management and emotional therapy. With you out of the picture, the abuser will be able to better manage his issues.
   
   On another note, with a domestic violence charge on his record, this will not only protect you, but any other person that becomes his future victim.

5. LET GO!
   
   Don't get used to the abuse. "Let Go and Let God." You have tried to work things out, but your situation is getting worse. Don't give up trying to get out of your situation. Be determined to let him go!
   
   Say a prayer to allow God to help you through your decision. BE DECISIVE and STICK WITH YOUR DECISION. Often times women feel stuck in an abusive relationship, afraid to make their move. Humility does not feel good, but neither does abuse. You can live through humility, abuse will shorten your life.
   
   GET HELP!
   DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR RESOURCES.
   
   There are domestic violence counselors, shelters, and support groups that will help you along the way. Call the National Domestic Violence Hot line AT 1-800-799-SAFE or check in your local phonebook or call the telephone operator to direct you to the right supporter you need.

6. STAY ENCOURAGED AND MOTIVATED. KEEP BUSY!
   
   Join a church or visit several churches. Get a new job. Volunteer. Visit your kids at school. Keep yourself busy. You will notice that if you focus on others, you will be able to rebuild your confidence and be happy that you are able to help others. Share your stories, talk with others, talk at support groups. You'll be glad you did.
   
   Remember, you can make it through, if you really WANT to. And thank your heavenly Father for getting you through... you can't take all the credit. Smile!
   
   You've just conquered domestic violence.

Tips & Warnings

• If he doesn't leave, you need to leave. Don't sit there waiting for the abuser to leave you and then come back and do more damage. If you don't make the move for yourself, no one will. You've heard the saying, "If you want something done, do it yourself." Don't think about it, like NIKE said, "Just Do It!"
• I stepped out of my home with very little clothing for me and my kids to live in a DV Shelter. I left my job, avoided family for a little while, and disappeared from the abuser. No, that wasn't my plan, yes I was hurt, disappointed, and felt alone. But these are feelings that will go away as time goes on. Realize that you will go through the motions, but step out on faith and God will see you through. God blessed me with free food and drinks for my family, a roof over our head, and gas for my car when I didn't have money. God will use complete strangers to help you along the way. Trust and believe... this is my testimony.
• If the abuser threatens you if you tell someone... Tell someone anyway! Either way you are taking a risk! If you tell, you'll get abused. If you don't tell, you'll what?... continue to get abused. You might as well just let someone know. Get a plan and take action. Get out of your situation.

Resources

• Join Relationships Discussion Group
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline
• Become HeavenSent's Friend on MySpace
• Coaching Boys into Men
• CLICK HERE for your HelpGuide in Fighting against Domestic Violence