Every rock needs pampering sometimes. Maybe it's his birthday, you dropped him, or they are just complaining of aches and pains, you need to know what to do.
Talk to your rock as you fill the plastic container (I recommend Tupperware) with extremely hot, but not too hot, water. Add a little bit of smelly soap both in the water and on him. If you have any, bath salts or oils are great, too.
Step2
Pet your rock as he is bathing. You may even slosh around the water a bit or add more bubbles.
Step3
Dry off your rock gently with a soft, clean towel. Many rocks enjoy being set down on a towel while they are being talked to to dry off.
Step4
When your rock is dry, rub some hand moisturizer to him, rub off the excess, add the other smelly things, rub off, etc.
Step5
Put him back in his house, and add more smelly things (like a potpourri bag), and leave the top open a crack to dim the lights. Soon, your rock will be asleep!
Tips & Warnings
Some rocks will prefer a certain smell that you put on them. For instance, my rock loves eucalyptus.
Your rocks will get extremely mad if you give them a bath that is too hot. Always check with THEM first!
Novice 
