How to Tell if Someone is Using You

At one time or another, you've probably suspected that someone who you thought was your friend or even a family member was using you. It’s never a good feeling when you find out that someone you love or care about does not feel the same way about you and is in fact using you only for their own benefit. This can be very upsetting, especially when you first discover the truth. Here are some clues you can look for to discover if someone is just using you rather than truly being your friend.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. You meet the person when he asks you to and he has a friend or two with him. Instead of going with you to your assigned function, he tells you that he will be along shortly and just to go ahead. Then he never shows up.

2. She never wants you to meet any of her family or friends and makes excuses when you push the point. She also paints a picture of friends and family that are not so good to discourage you from insisting.

3. He always wants you to do favors for him but then when you need him, he is nowhere to be found.

4. She never wants to take you home but instead insists on spending all your time together at your home. She is always showing up at your home looking for a meal, a favor or just to insinuate herself into your life whenever she wants to no matter how inconvenient it is for you.

5. He behaves like an angel around your friends and family. He’s affectionate and kind to you in front of them. He compliments them and pours on the flattery doing his best to make them like him. However, as soon as your family and friends have left, he begins treating you as he always does--badly.

Tips & Warnings

• As soon as you suspect someone is just using you, dump them immediately. You don’t need friends or family like these.
• Don’t believe it if the user apologizes and promises to be a better friend or family member. It is always going to be a lie and a form of manipulation.
• Be prepared for possible emotional blackmail and guilt trips. Users are experts at both and think nothing of the pain they cause others when they use these emotional weapons. This sort of behavior is every bit as abusive as a beating. Get a restraining order if you need to and do what you have to protect yourself.

[reginapaul]

on 10/18/2009 Hey lostt, I would say so from the sounds of it.

[lostt]

on 10/18/2009 i think that i am being used but whant some 1 elses thoughts i have been a friend with this girl 4 a while and it was going good but renclety the only time she even talks to me is when she whants some work done on her car, home,and so fourth am i being used?

[Lesternater]

on 11/16/2008 Very true article.