How to Tell Your Family You’re a Gay Senior Citizen

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You have lived most of your life while keeping a deep, dark secret. You may have been married, and you may have children; but in your heart of hearts, you know you are gay. Telling your family your decision may be the most difficult task you've ever had to do. Here are a few things to keep in mind that will make it easier and will hasten their acceptance.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Step1

Be confident. Whether you choose to tell each member personally or the family as a group, tell them your views with conviction. The more self-assured you are, the less likely they will deride or belittle you. Take the position that you're OK with your choice and they should be too.

Step2

Allow your family time to accept your message. Most likely, your explanation will first be met with disbelief. It will take them time to process the information you have shared with them. Reassure them that you are comfortable with the fact that you are gay, and that they had nothing to do with your revelation.

Step3

Determine who in your family will be most receptive to your message and tell that person first. Then be sure that person is present when you tell others because it will boost your confidence. If you have guessed wrong about that person, choose another.

Step4

Reassure your family that you feel your message should not alter your relationship with them. While you have finally chosen the lifestyle that is most acceptable to you yet different from theirs, your connection to them, and others with whom you are close, should not change.

Step5

Be prepared to reaffirm your message. Often, family members will find acceptance of your message difficult to accept. But if they continue hearing your decision and you demonstrate your happiness with your life, they will be more accepting of your choice.

Step6

Reinforce to them that you are happy with your decision and expect to live a fulfilling, rewarding life. Too often, relatives may feel that you have no control over your decision and that you have succumbed to a life of unhappiness. Over time, they will understand that you feel a sense of relief for having finally made the decision, and you have told them.