How to Speed Legally

Are you a speed demon that longs for whipping winds and adrenaline-pumping action? Does your fear of a dozen state troopers in hot pursuit keep you from your dreams? Not to worry, there are ways to satisfy your thirst while avoiding court costs and trailing news choppers.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Become a cop. With a GED and a bit of training, you can switch on your siren and break the speed limit without fear of consequence. Just be sure you’re chasing a bad guy, though, or you’ll have some explaining to do.
2. Visit the Autobahn. If you’re in Germany and want to take a Lamborghini for a test drive, burn rubber on this famous highway that has no speed limit. Should a grandmother in a station wagon pass you, it’s no one’s fault but your own.
3. Become a stunt driver. Yes, the risk to life and limb is enormous and you’ll be limited to driving on closed roads, but its worth considering. How else will the law allow you to jump a flaming hotrod across a river of acid and land upside-down in a coffee shop?
4. Join NASCAR. If racing is truly in your blood, your best bet is being paid to do it. Find a sponsor and strap in for 500 laps of bone-jarring bliss.
5. Execute performance tests for car manufacturers. Companies that pride themselves on horsepower and handling need someone to prove their vehicle passes the test, if for no other reason than obtaining a great magazine review.