How to Comfort Someone who is Sad

Many times when someone is sad, people resort to giving advice, changing the subject or trying to make her happy when usually all she needs to know is that she's not alone in the process and that she's being heard. Letting go of your expectations for how it should take your friends to resolve their sadness is the most important part of comforting someone.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Make listening your primary objective. A person who is grieving or has become downtrodden mostly just needs someone who's willing to sit with him and lend an ear without bias or judgment. Make sure you look him in the eye as you listen.
2. Do your best to try to relate to her. A friend who's sad doesn't want to hear how you've been there or had a worse experience. She simply wants someone to sit with her, encourage her and accept her for where she is. Healing comes through being able to process the experience unhindered. If you keep talking, you're interrupting the healing.
3. Be patient. Comforting someone who's sad means letting him be in his process and releasing your expectations of a time period for completing the sadness. Each individual has a different process; let your loved one have his.
4. Know when to step in. Sometimes a good kick in the seat is what your friend needs. Sadness is a tough subject. Keep her best interest at heart no matter how you decide to respond.

Tips & Warnings

• Bite your tongue. A resolution to the situation may seem like common sense to you, but if you don't let your friend go through his own process he won't grow as much.