How to Do a Hand Fart

In this world of great talents, focus has swayed from the much-neglected art of hand farting. This humble yet important skill can be acquired by anyone, even those with no musical ability whatsoever.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Hold out one hand so it's flat, with the fingers extended.
2. Place your other hand upon it, angling it so that it crosses the other hand from the side of the hand to just behind the thumb.
3. Squeeze your fingers around the edges of your hands, with your palms tightly pressed together and your thumbs crossed.
4. Open the front part of your hands a little to allow air in, but squeeze with the fingers wrapped around the back of the hands. Listen for the telltale farting sounds this motion creates.
5. Vary the sounds by speeding the motion of changing the "cup" of your palms. Soon you'll begin to hit various notes.
6. Work on more challenging songs. You will be pleased as your repertoire increases with your ability.
7. Incorporate other sounds like pops or claps with your hand farts. With that added ability, you will be able to create a two-handed orchestra. Prepare to dazzle the world.